Enviousness of Her.
by Shukusen
Summary: Instead of having a bunch of poems all around..I decided to put them all together. Poems of romance, yaoi, suicide, doubt, angst, love, and hate.
1. Always Running

Funny isn't it how were the same,  
  
Running, bleeding away from the pain,  
  
But when you finally cut too deep,  
  
You left your blade,  
  
It's here glittering in my palm,  
  
Will I or will I not,  
  
Do I hate you or do I love you,  
  
I just wanna know why,  
  
Why could you leave so easily,  
  
Did you love Seifer more,  
  
I guess so,  
  
Would he have died for you,  
  
Well I guess it doesn't matter now,  
  
But I'm going to die soon anyway,  
  
But not for you,  
  
Not for Seifer,  
  
Not for your pain,  
  
But for mine  
  
And I realize now when you said  you loved me all those tender times at night,  
  
It was a lie,  
  
And when you said we would always be together,  
  
Well that's funny now,  
  
But I'm glad it was all a lie,  
  
I'd rather bleed then cry,  
  
And you're making me do both,  
  
I wanna choice, even if it's a bad one,  
  
You never let me have any,  
  
But that's okay,  
  
This is the last time I'll ever have to worry about that..  
  
Isn't it?  
  
Oh good, blood.  
  
See, I can do it too Squall.   
  
  
  
  
**  
**  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. Maybe I will

You didn't have to die you know,   
If you were alive today…  
Who knows what we could have done?  
I hate you for leaving me,   
Maybe I'll join you,   
Maybe I won't.  
I don't understand how you could kill yourself,  
Didn't you love me?  
Why don't you realize all the pain you're causing me?  
I wish I had watched you,  
If I knew could I have done anything?  
I guess it's better that I didn't know.  
Finding your body was a surprise,  
I told you I always loved surprises.  
Did you hate me?  
You must have if it was so easy to end it all.  
I guess I shouldn't have ignored…  
You never really loved me,  
Not the same way I loved you.  
I gave you my heart,   
But you never returned it.  
You'd rather have a switchblade, I guess.  
But maybe that's okay  
Just maybe…  
I don't really need you,  
I guess I would rather have..someone else  
But maybe..  
When I die..  
I can see you  
Or just remeber you more  
Even with your picture on my shelf  
You're slipping away  
So there's your switchblade  
The blade is only sprickled with silver,  
I'd like to know how you felt,  
Did you think about me,  
I doubt it  
Perhaps when the night is done,  
They'll find the blade all crimson,  
I want to be together,  
Even if it's only blood on the same knife,  
And only blood in the same pool,  
We'll feel more together,  
I just hope you want to see me  
You never did before.  
  
**  
**  
  
  
  



	3. Not Really

  
  
It's not like I really expected you to love me.  
Not really.  
I didn't want you to care.  
Not really.  
So I guess it's fine that you punctured my heart  
What more can I ask for?  
I'll probably never see you again.  
But that's okay.  
I never really loved you.  
It was just..just..who knows?  
But it doesn't matter now I guess.  
No...wait.   
It never did.  
If I ever see you walking down a hall so arrogantly, the gleam in your eyes  
I'll just pass you by.  
I don't care  
I might drink a lot.  
Not too much though...I've seen people drink more then me.  
You have...right?  
Even if I black out for days  
As long as I don't care about you  
I'm fine.  
You never cared.  
No one really cares  
Not about me.  
What does it matter if I drink?  
As long as I don't care about you  
I'll be fine.  
I'll get up.  
Even if it's hard to walk  
I'm fine.  
I'll even smile and laugh.  
See?  
Selphie's jokes are funny.  
I can laugh.  
Not that you care.  
You never did.  
God I wish you'd just leave me alone!  
I don't drink too much  
I don't miss you  
I don't care.  
I'm fine.  
I'm just fine.  
Or I will be.  
Just give me a chance.  
You never will, will you?  
Maybe it would be better if I let go.  
Let go of my love.  
Let go of my falseness.  
Just let go.  
Broken glass on my skin is more comforting then anything right now.  
More comforting then my thoughts.  
I'm bleeding  
And the cut gets deeper and deeper  
But as long as I don't love..  
Have to love you anymore  
I'm fine.  
I hope you care when I'm dead  
I guess I'm going to die  
The cut is too deep to be healed anyway  
It's better just to lay here  
I don't have to think about you  
or love.  
I'm fine.  
Just give me a chance.  
You'll see  
I'll be fine.  
  
  
  
**  
**  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	4. Escaping

  
I was just fooling you,  
I forgot how you felt,  
I know you really loved him,  
But he's in the past,  
Don't you love me more then him,  
I guess not,  
With my remark,  
Came the drops of sweat,  
And the firm screeching of your wooden chair,  
I never meant to hurt you,  
But you shed my blood,  
And with those sparkiling tears,  
And the gleam of your yellow hair,  
You blinded me as you hit me with your sharp gloves,  
I couldn't stand,  
And for a while all I saw was black,  
But when I opened my eyes,  
I was surronded by crimson,  
You wouldn't help me,  
You only stood over me and watched,  
I'm sorry I hurt you,  
But it's okay,  
I always liked Squall,  
I'll touch his lips,  
I'll be where you want to be,  
And you'll be alone,  
I hope you enjoy your ghostly shell,  
I'm escaping.  
  



	5. Alone

  
Alone.  
I'm always alone.  
i can't even trust the dark,  
How dodI know I exsist.  
I see nothing.  
Not dark...not light..nothing.  
My eyes are void  
I can't remember you  
I don't even dream anymore  
What's the point if I'll never see you again,  
Seifer.  
Because I'm all alone.  
Alone.  
  



End file.
